It's your parents' estate – but do you know their wishes?

By:  Kian Ghanei

the mention of that word makes you uncomfortable, you're not alone. According to a recent survey nearly half of Canadians over age 45 have not talked with their parents about their funeral plans, or leaving a legacy for younger generations in the family. And three out of four Canadians have not participated in a meeting with their parents or siblings to discuss their parents' wills even though children very often act as the Personal Representatives of their parents' estate(s).

That reluctance is easy to understand. People tend to shy away from the difficult topics of death and money until there is an urgent need to have those discussions, usually when their parents are much older. But that's not a good thing because the lack of timely communication can easily lead to regret, hard feelings and a reduction in estate assets.

The opposite is also true. Dialogue among family members is usually the best way to iron out Estate planning issues, reduce potential inheritance hostilities, help make certain long-term resentment doesn't result and help ensure an effective estate plan is in place to minimize the tax burden.

Conversation starters and good planning tips

If you're among the many who need to talk about these issues but find it difficult to do so, here are some tips for improving communication about money and estate matters with your parents or spouse:

• Use a non-threatening opening to your discussion about Estate planning. For example, you could say that you're revising your financial plan and need the advice of your family members.
• Be sure to include everyone in the discussion who will be affected by your estate plan. It's vital that no one feels excluded.
• To help keep the conversation less emotional and more constructive, consider having a neutral third party with experience in these matters act as a facilitator.
• Before your family meeting, make sure you are clear on the scope of your estate and the legacy you wish to leave:
  
  • Assemble information on your financial situation.
  • Arrange for an up-to-date will. About half of adult Canadians don't have a will - but having one is essential to help ensure your legacy will be passed on as you wish.
  • Consider whom to designate as your Personal Representative (sometimes called an executor or, in Quebec, a liquidator) who will be responsible for winding up the affairs of your estate and distributing assets and bequests. Be prepared to share information about the location of your will, other important legal papers, bank accounts and safety deposit boxes with your Personal Representative.
  • Consider an enduring power of attorney and health care directive that will facilitate your financial and medical care should you become incapacitated.
  • Plan for the funeral now - it will ease the burden on your family and the expense. Consider buying a life insurance policy to cover the cost.

Talk about Estate planning issues now to avoid difficulties later. You may wish to include a lawyer and an accountant in your Estate planning team. Your financial advisor is always a good choice as team "quarterback" to ensure everyone stays focused on the right strategies for your unique situation.